Last night I said goodbyes to the little ones and the best husband in the world, they took off on their road trip as I got in the car with my mummy and sis to be dropped at the airport.
Half way into the car ride, my mum screaming in stress of us being late and my sister and I making stupid jokes to keep her going, I felt like that 18 year old kid again going on my first trip overseas to Bali with my best friend. It was like the last 10 years had vanished for a moment and I was giddy at the thought of just going overseas by myself. I was nervous, excited and a swarm of butterfly's filled my stomach. It was hitting me, I am really going on a big holiday in another country!
My mum and sister helped check me in and said their goodbyes. I walked through the big gates still freaking out from the inside but keeping it together better than I ever could of imagined I would. I thought I would be really sad and emotional to leave the kids but I'm feeling more empowered than ever.
The last time I was at that airport I was 15 weeks pregnant with my new hubby of 5 months, on my way to the US. The last time I was at a domestic airport I had a 3 month old and a 2 year old by myself and I was in tears because I had missed my flight that I had asked my sister to book for me for the day before. How life changes in an instant and how much harder it is to do anything like this with kids in tow. I'm not saying it wouldn't be fun, just very different.
Over the past 24 hours I've had time, time to observe people, time to observe myself. The perception you get from just watching others is quite interesting. I look at the parents that have stern faces, struggling with their two or three little children with a smile of empathy but they look back at me like I'm a free person that would have no idea. How funny it is to look at someone and guess where they are from or what they do for a living. Observe the calmness of some and the nervousness of others. To watch Dads teaching their Sons about how the run way works or planes fly and to picture my own little family grown up and what we will get up to all together.
Walking through the airport and from flight to flight, watching those families, I do feel like a young, free person with no responsibility but the responsibility to look after myself. I'm feeling so empowered by this, it feels really great to put myself first and just worry about where I need to be next or if I need a drink of water or the toilet. Haha. How selfless we are as mothers, that we can forget to put even these simple things ahead.
It's been a surreal day and as I sit in the airport waiting for my next transfer asking myself if I'm living in a dream. Because really, what mum of 2 small children gets to pack up and go on an adventure like this?
Have you been travelling with your children or by yourself? Where did you go? Where do you want to go?