|Mabel 9 months old|
Last week I was at the end of my tether on the whole lack of sleep thing. We have had such an amazing holiday break and really having so much fun together…but the baby…she wants to feed all night long!
I also was over being a milk bar, it’s hit 9 months of lending my body out for feeding every few hours and I felt done. For the first time in motherhood I wanted to pack up my boobs and say;
Well thats all folks. The shop is officially shut!
With my other two, I never had this, I really enjoyed breastfeeding. Well, I didn’t love it but I didn’t ever want to stop as I knew how good it was for my babies. I wanted to nourish them with the best. They self weaned, pretty early, around 12-15 months old but they just didn’t want it anymore, I wanted them to feed longer, I tried to make them feed longer but they were done. This time, I want my baby to have the best but I also want to stop putting on weight and everything else that breastfeeding seems to bless me with. Yes, I am one of those mum that actually puts on weight while breastfeeding, there’s only a few of us it happens to and I’m one of them. My hormones just go weird and hold onto every bit of fat in case of a famine and the fact I need to provide for my baby. Typical right?
Problem is that I’m just not the type of person to quit, I know that every time I made a bottle the guilt would eat me up inside for my selfishness. I mean, I should be appreciating the fact that I actually can breastfeed my baby as so many others can’t. I really have tried to find every excuse to stop feeding but after baby check ups and doctors appointments; there really is none. I have great milk and lots of it! Guess what??? Breast milk is best for my baby! Can you believe it? 😉 haha ohhhh the yearning to stop continued as I spoked to fellow mums, weaning… sharing with me their boost in energy, their sense of freedom as they claimed their boobs back!
I WANT THAT!
It seemed that everyone I spoke to had started weaning, weaned or was about to start. I felt surrounded by Mothers of freedom!
That was until I caught up with a really good friend and I voiced my urge to stop. She’s pro breast feeding and self weaning but she’s also pro-awesome friend and inspiring being and she knew what to say to hit that nail on the head in very simple words that I just needed to hear…
“You’re doing an amazing job & glowing. Remember no stage lasts forever, before you know it breast feeding will be over; so enjoying staring into those beautiful eyes, know that your her world & this is such special bonding time for you two.”Bottom line is that I want what is best for baby and I just can’t put my needs before their’s just yet…I mean she’s only 9 months old, the least I can do is give her the same as what I offered her older Brother and Sister, the full 12 months! It’s true; no season lasts forever, things change and we change. My baby WILL grow up and when she does, I’m sure I’ll want her back in my arms. It’s my time to chill and enjoy these special moments that will pass.