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Tonight I cried…

Tonight I cried… I cried and I couldn’t stop because I just want to go home. I don’t want to count on everyone else, I don’t want to need to. 🤷🏼‍♀️

The overwhelming fact that we don’t have a home and will be depending on family for this all time low we’re in is becoming more and more real. Cleaning up and Rebuilding a house isn’t a quick process and the reality is that we are already paying a mortgage so we can’t afford to pay rent in the mean time. We are ok with this and feel so lucky to have family to stay with!!! But then how much of a burden will it wear on them and how long is it actually going to take???? I think that’s the real thing freaking me out, it’s not a few weeks or months, it’s going to be a year or more and we have four kids that love touching EVERYTHING. How long will it be before the novelty well and truly wears off on our mums? How many times will we have to move around? And will we all come out of this still friends? This is all part of the emotional roller coaster that we’re on and the things we’re trying to sort out. We go from feeling so blessed to feeling like we’re at a complete loss.

We’re positive that we have so much support but then we’re freaking out that our life isn’t going to be the same for a very long time. Just don’t know what went wrong! I’ve gone over that morning so many times in my head and what I could of done differently. How did it even start? I just have no idea.

How do you leave the house and come home an hour later to everything on fire?

Some of these questions I know will never be answered and I have a feeling that things may get a lot worse before they get better 🤷🏼‍♀️😥… only time will tell. ❤️

May 24, 2019