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Grief

Grief is such a weird concept in this still surreal situation.We lost our home. Our house.Our stuff…but all the stuff doesn’t even matter any more,it really goes way deeper than that.When you’re “growing up” you plan what you want to achieve,you dream of what you want to do,you create your life and you tick off that bucket list.For us;our dream was to have our own house,our children and to do some fun things.You work your life to buy a house,have a family and travel when you can.We were doing that!We had our house that we were making pretty when we could.It wasn’t always easy, it was really tuff at times but we felt like we were ticking off things we wanted in life.My husband even said to me recently;”I feel like everything I’ve wanted in life I’ve got. We’re doing it.”If we wanted something,we did our best to make it happen…we even had in our minds a trip to the Maldives for our 10 year anniversary next year childfree.🙈The dreams always kept coming…Its such a crazy concept to have pretty much everything you ever wanted and have plans for the future but then its like everything is wiped clean.You buy your house at the right time,you have a reasonable mortgage but the house that you’ve put so much love into is taken away with still a mortgage to pay and you become dependent on everyone around you.Because of that one thing,your future changes in an instant,all those dreams become unknown and all you want is to know what’s going to happen next.

You still have a job,you’re still paying your bills,you still have all your children,you still have all the love around you BUT no home and no extra money to pay for rent or to build it back..do you sell an empty block and still have a mortgage to pay?Or do you rebuild something that will put you further into debt that you know you can’t pay it back?Do you build it back and resell to break even and become a life time renter?So many questions…

The Grief of knowing you’ve lost so much of what you’ve worked so hard to create is a hard one. It’s really hard to even explain and I don’t even know if I’ll ever understand it.🤷🏼‍♀️Ps.I really hope my insta hasn’t become this really morbid place to hang out…I promise to bring some

Positivity back, just riding this wave out and sharing the feelings as they come.

Thanks for sticking around.

June 12, 2019

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